?

Log in

[icon] do not defy me
View:Recent Entries.
View:Archive.
View:Friends.
View:Profile.
You're looking at the latest 10 entries, after skipping 10 newer ones.
Missed some entries? Then simply jump back 10 entries or forward 10 entries

Security:
Subject:survey
Time:08:58 am
Ever kiss someone who was dating or married to someone else?
No! But that doesn't mean I didn't really want to.

How many children do you plan on having?
I dont know, Lately I've been thinking about it more and more.

Have you ever egged someones house or car?
toilet papered

Did you vote for George W Bush?
no


Have you ever stolen something from work or school?
nope


Ever tried to make a bomb?
lol, not telling

Does the last person you held hands with, mean a lot?
I cant remember who the last person I held hands with was

Are you close with your mom?
yes, very

What's your favorite color to wear?
they say black is slimming

Who was the last person you talked to on the telephone?
hmmmm, My mom i think

When was the last time you talked to your number 2?
yesterday

Do think you will be in a relationship 3 months from now?
hmmm... i doubt it


Sleep on your back or stomach?
side


Something that happened today that made you not happy?
nothing yet


First thing you do when you wake up?
get out of bed

What was your first thought when you woke up this morning?
TIRED...more SLEEPY now

Where were you at 2:00 this morning?
in bed

How do you feel about the person who texted you last?
a good friend

What's your favorite room in your house?
my bedroom

Are you able to climb a chain link fence?
i have not tried in a long time...but i bet i could if say a pack of ravenous dogs was chasing me

Have you ever cried from being so mad?
yes

What high school did/do you attend?
noblesville


Whats the longest you have talked on the phone to someone and with who?
4 hours...driving home while exhausted

How many 20 dollar bills do you have on you right now?
LOL!!!

Do you have any friends that you have known for 10 years or more?
yes

Name something that's on your mind right now?
something i lost out on

Where do you want to go?
BIMINI!

Who did you last shoot a dirty look at?
my boss

What's one fact about your pet?
He is major cute

Has anyone ever sang to you?
only once...and though it was not meant to be romantic it was...though I doubt anyone but me remembers it

Has anyone ever given you roses?
no

When was the last time you hugged someone and who was it?
um...i think greg tuesday night

Do you miss anyone?
lots of people


What's irritating you right now?
my money worries


Are you listening to music right now?
yes, work music

Where is the biggest scar on your body?
my surgery scar...which has healed so nicely its almost gone

Do relationships matter at all?
yes. i want one

When is the last time you wore a dress?
saturday night

Looking back, did you ever waste too much time on a certain boy or girl?
thinking about them yes

Anything been heavy on your heart lately?
yes... money, lack of love, diet, needing a good deep dicking.

Would you kiss the last person you kissed again?
I have not kissed anyone lately

What's your favorite card game?
EUCHRE!!
comments: Leave a comment Share

Security:
Subject:a clarification seems to be in order
Time:06:44 pm
to everyone who worries about me:

I ABSOLUTELY love myself on the inside..I think I am a wonderful person, I think I am a beautiful and unique snowflake. I think I have everything in the world to give to some lucky and worthy person one day. What I dont love about myself is the person in the mirror...I am dieting so that when I look in the mirror naked I dont want to vomit. I hate my body, and love my mind. WHEN my outside matches what I love about myself inside then I will be able to take over the fucking world. right now I'm too afraid, but A life lived in fear is a life half lived. Watch out world, when I am no longer afraid I WILL have WHATEVER I want, and damn the consequences... Which sounds terrible I know. Dont worry my darling fans I will still be the same good person I am inside now...I wont hurt anyone to get what I want. But I may rob a few banks.
comments: Leave a comment Share

Security:
Subject:post secret
Time:04:05 pm
there is a secret on there this week...that if you took out one word and add 2 more in its place, it would be my secret. The one I've been thinking of sending for at least a year
comments: Leave a comment Share

Security:
Subject:i dont love myself
Time:01:19 pm
My self esteem is lower right now than it has been in months and months...I HAVE to get back to being strict on my diet. I've just let it go so much, and I dont like myself right now. I dont like being tired and hungover, and wishing I were someone else. Now granted I could dislike myself so much more so I'm thankful for the small amount of restraint I do have. The only way I know right now to bring myself up is to lose more weight, nothing else seems to work for me anymore. Its amazing that back in february I would have been so happy to lose 40 pounds, now its not enough...I wonder if any amount will be enough to love me. If I can reach my goal then Maybe just Maybe I can learn to love myself. and After I learn to love myself maybe I can finally go find someone who could love me too. Cause I want to be held and taken care of and I want to be kissed and hugged. I want to give lap dances and slow dance under the stars. and I want other things, much dirtier things. But most of all I want someone who wants to do these things with ME, I have so much to give if someone would really want it. But no one will want to do these things with me until I can let myself love me. God I'm even boring myself right now...so I'm done
comments: 2 comments or Leave a comment Share

Security:
Subject:facebook
Time:07:36 pm
So during many recent conversations with friends i keep hearing the word facebook...people keep telling me to go there. so finally out of curiosity i did. I made an account, which im pretty sure im going to delete cause i just dont see the point...anyway It suggested a whole slew of people that i may possibly know. and many of them were people i knew, gloria, lindsay, amy, greg, rachel, jamie...but heres the weird part it suggested people that were so strange, like a few girls on glorias rugby team that i met once, Glorias ex girlfriend heather, and someone who i am pretty sure is gregs girlfriend, her name is ashley anyway. So how in the world does face book know to connect me with theses people, its just too weird.
comments: Leave a comment Share

Security:
Subject:a survey
Time:10:58 am
Are you a good tipper?
yes, because i could NOT imagine how horrible it must be to be a waiter

What would your last meal be before getting executed?
something from chichis

Beer, wine or hard liquor?
depends on who i'm with and what we are doing...the real answer is Yes Please!!

Where do you want to live when you are old?
Bimini

Do you like pickles?
Yes


Wish you were a member of the opposite sex?
sure

Habla espanol?
i should considering 4 years in highschool...but alas no

whats your favorite fruit?
pineapple

Do you have hairy legs?
no, gross...hairy legs are itchy legs. I think I'd shave even if i was a guy

Do you wear a lot of black?
its supposedly slimming

Did you ever bring a weapon to high school?
ah... no


Have you ever thrown up on somebody?
no way

Do you think O.J. is guilty?
who really cares anymore

Have you ever had an online relationship?
nope, but im really starting to consider trying one of those sites out


What is the best compliment you have ever received?
Kristin, anyone else would be a red neck, but not you.


What is your perfect pizza?

pepperoni mushroom and onion from firehouse in noblesville, its the pizza we ate growing up


If you could change your name, what would you change it to?
i wouldnt

Do you make wishes on shooting stars?
sometimes, but dreams and wishes rarely come true

What is one question you wouldn't want me to ask?
i'll answer anything

Where were you last week at this time?
prolly doing this...lol
comments: Leave a comment Share

Security:
Subject:lol, cut and paste
Time:01:13 pm
Usually it doesnt bother me too terribly much that my closest friends, the ones that really know me the ones that would drop anything if I needed them, live so far away. Last night it bothered me, last night I just needed someone to help take up the silence and with certain friends I know I can just sit there and not say anything and its ok, but they all live so far away. Yesterday my Father had a total hip replacement. He is an extremely strong man and though he looked more frail and weak in that bed than I've ever seen him he still got up and did his physical therapy, gritting through the pain. He is an astounding guy. Reading emails and doing work on his Blackberry less than two hours after the surgery. He makes me proud to be his daughter. I spent the entire day in the hospital so my mother would have someone to talk to. I wanted to be there to take her mind off it, she was so worried. But hospitals just take it out of you. And even though he was strong the whole day it was still a not good experience. A friend told me once that I love my dad, But I dont like him. and maybe thats true, but I like him enough to worry and feel pain when he is in pain. By the time i got home i was exhausted, and needed to get my mind off it.

so i watched the Olympics and that helped take my mind off it, I love the olympics. Its about the only time i can be found glued to the tv durning prime time. And really I'm finding that I want me a professional swimmer of my very own. They have the hottest bodies. Even if most of them are butterfaces...or i guess butthim faces. lol.

I keep going down the list of people I know with motorcycles trying to see who will give me rides.. Im so addicted to it. and when I went through the list I thought of someone who I am almost too intimidated to ask. Its gonna have to be last...like saving the best for last. I used to have the biggest crush on him. I think i fell in love with his car first, I called it the Cool Car and even had a picture of it framed, lol mostly as a joke. His nickname was sexy forearms...and he knew about it, and the crush. I would dream of us falling madly in love...but in the way of my crushes I always pick the people I could never have He has a BIG black motorcycle and Im sure if i asked for a ride I'd get one...but im too scared to ask. Maybe one day.

God it feels like this week has lasted forever and its barely begun. But dayna will be here tomorrow! yay! and this weekend I get to see Gloria! double yay!

thats all i got
comments: 4 comments or Leave a comment Share

Security:
Subject:copied from Misters blog
Time:12:39 pm
Day 983 of my captivity...
My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while the other inmates and I are fed hash or some sort of dry nuggets. Although I make my contempt for the rations perfectly clear, I nevertheless must eat something in order to keep up my strength.

The only thing that keeps me going is my dream of escape. In an attempt to disgust them, I once again vomit on the carpet.

Today I decapitated a mouse and dropped its headless body at their feet. I had hoped this would strike fear into their hearts, since it clearly demonstrates what I am capable of. However, they merely made condescending comments about what a 'good little hunter' I am. Bastards.

There was some sort of assembly of their accomplices tonight. I was placed in solitary confinement for the duration of the event. However, I could hear the noises and smell the food. I overheard that my confinement was due to the power of 'allergies.' I must learn what this means and how to use it to my advantage.

Today I was almost successful in an attempt to assassinate one of my tormentors by weaving around his feet as he was walking. I must try this again tomorrow -- but at the top of the stairs.

I am convinced that the other prisoners here are flunkies and snitches. The dog receives special privileges. He is regularly released - and seems to be more than willing to return. He is obviously retarded.

The bird has got to be an informant. I observe him communicating with the guards regularly. I am certain that he reports my every move. My captors have arranged protective custody for him in an elevated cell, so he is safe. For now................
comments: 1 comment or Leave a comment Share

Security:
Time:09:41 am
Lol, I forgot to post this...or maybe subconciously didnt think it went with the super angsty theme of my last post...but My mother(while completely hammered at the time) told me that If i could get below her current weight she would give me $1000. I laughed and told her "awesome i can pay some bills off!" and she replied NO for clothes...So instead of giving me the money she is now just going to take me on a shopping trip. I dont know if thats ever gonna happen though cause later she talked about going on a Diet too...cause she doesnt think its right for me to be skinnier than she is...which I know sounds horrible, but she didnt mean it in a bad way i promise. It just my mother...she has peculiar ideas. My favorite is the idea that Me, as an unmarried daughter should live at home til I get married. Everytime she brings up moving back in I tell her "Sure, if you are tired of having a husband I'll move back in" Because my father would surely divorce her if moved in AGAIN.
comments: 2 comments or Leave a comment Share

Security:
Subject:even older stuff for gloria...thats all you get
Time:07:12 pm
10 things


I have never...been to the Melting Pot

I have never...gotten flowers from a man not related to me

I have never...been to Europe

I have never...been in Love

I have never...been to Maine or Alaska

I have never...learned to dance, but I want to take lessons

I have never...been satisfied with a job

I have never...told someone I have strong feelings for how I really feel

I have never...been kissed during fireworks

I have never...been more beautiful than I am right now, and I will be ten times more beautiful tomorrow



I have...won the Deans award for my artwork in college

I have...been to Mexico, twice

I have...been at Reggie Miller's final game, and the last game at the RCA dome. We lost both

I have...walked part of the Appalachian trail

I have...been to Texas, California, and Key West

I have...had a crush so strong that it broke my heart when they loved someone else

I have...lost 35 pounds in less than 5 months

I have...danced in the rain

I have...seen all the fireworks in Indy on the fourth of July

I have...driven cross country



I am...beginning to love myself more and more everyday.

I am...the biggest football fan you will ever meet.

I am...wearing a size 12 right now

I am...loved by a wonderful family

I am...a beautiful and unique snowflake

I am...a huge muscle car/fast car/unique car junkie

I am...almost to a place mentally where I think I could allow myself to love and be loved.

I am...thinking more and more about wanting a family

I am...Patron's biggest fan

I am...Kasey Kahne's secret lover




3:56 AM - 0 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment - Edit - Remove


my credit card say fuck you!

yesterday i abused my credit card so badly....i went to the mall for ONE thing and ended up spening an hour and a half there. I got measured for a bra and bought a couple. then i went into new york and bought a couple pairs of pants and a new tank top. THEN i went into a shoe store and bought some sexy high heels to wear with my new dress. hardley jimmy choos, but still hot. oh my poor credit card, i could have shopped more but i heard it cursing me from my wallet when i pulled it out to buy the shoes.

3:08 AM - 0 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment - Edit - Remove



Thursday, July 10, 2008

yay!

my new dress came! but that means i have to go to the mall and buy a strapless bra for it. i hate going to the mall. Oh well it means i get to leave work early!

5:08 PM - 0 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment - Edit - Remove



Friday, July 11, 2008

argh teenagers


So i was taking one of those quizzes that people seem to be constantly posting these days...it was what feature you notice first on a guy....i took it even though i already know. But midway through the question was "favorite romantic place?" and the first option was "the mall" i stopped taking the quiz right then and there. that is disgusting.

also, i work next to an At&t store, and this morning there is a line way out the door and news crews...anyone know why? what techno thing is happening to day that im too clueless to know about?


2:15 AM - 0 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment - Edit - Remove



Thursday, July 10, 2008

give you a dollar if you read it


If I were a doll, the accessories packaged with me would be:
my phone, some bobby pins, and a bottle of patron


I have an irrational fear of:
waking up alone forever


What type of food do you eat at your grandparents house?
mmmm, down home cooking

What weight were you when you were born?
6lbs 2oz

What would you do if you were stranded on an island with the person you hate most?
i dont really thing i hate anyone

I am most opposed to:
lying

What would you do if you found out you had been cheated on?
break up with him

Do you stalk anyone on myspace?
yeah...a really hot blue eyed guy

I find the thought of childbirth:
horrifying

Next door to my house is:
more apt houses

My feet are:
tiny...duck feet

My preferred style of jeans is:
not falling off....so none of the ones i own now

Why is your 1 your 1?
cause leo is the awesomest

I am annoyed with:
my back hurts

What child-related smell do you like?
um...clean kid?

What sea creature scares you?
i dont think any do

What color hair do most of the people you are around have?
brown

What object have you broken most recently?
my own heart

Name one of the Spice Girls:
ginger

What was the last thing to make you cry?
being alone


I would like to be in an advertisement for:
tiny clothes

What are the stems of wine glasses for?
to hold them

My favorite shoes are:
my adidas

My mothers' greatest fear is:
i dont really know, she is kinda closed about things like that

Can you use chopsticks?
yes

Do you prefer beaches or forests?
beaches! i want to live on Bimini!


12:29 AM - 0 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment - Edit - Remove


confidence...


...its as simple a thing as loving the color of a dress to make you feel great about yourself, but apparently its a flimsy thing as well. all it takes is two people you trust telling you the same thing...and poof its out the window.


6:45 AM - 0 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment - Edit - Remove



Friday, July 04, 2008

just survey, if you love me you will read it


what's one thing you like to do alone?
wear pj's

how many drinks do u need before u get tipsy?
quite a few

what kind of books do you like to read?
anything...though recently i was told "there are other things out there beside wheel of time" apparently i am an uncultured bore
do you think you're cute?
sure

do you have a problem changing clothes infront of your friends?
depends on the friend

what do you eat when you raid the fridge atnight?
i dont raid the fridge at night

describe your bed?
lonely

spontaneous or planned?
planned...unless its romantic, and romantic things never happen to me

do you know how to play poker?
i know the concept

what do you carry with you at all times?
my phone

what do you miss most about being a kid?
being taken care of, which is something i would see as a good thing about being married...i want to be taken care of

are you happy with your given name?
sure
what color is your bedroom?
- white
have you ever been in a play?
no

do you like yourself and believe in yourself?
sometimes...except when it comes to love...i'd rather hope on the impossible dream than find a real person


do you consider yourself to be a nice person?
as long as you are not my co-worker

do you spend more time with yourgirlfriend/boyfriend or your friends?
i dont have a boyfriend


what's one thing you wish you could do butcan't?
be less scared

what is your ideal wedding location?
i've not really thought of getting married seriously

whats one instrument you wish you couldplay?
maybe piano, it makes such a beautiful sound

whats one language you want to learn?
languages dont take with me

have you ever pierced your body parts?
- Ears

do you have any tattoos?
just one


what's one trait you hate in a person?
lying

do you consider yourself materialistic?
not really

what do you cook best?
cookies...ham and bean soup


What made you smile today?
me being slightly eloquent for once

What were you doing this morning at 8a.m.
dreaming about shoplifting lol!

What were you doing 15 minutes ago?
checking how qualifying was going

Something that happened to you in 1985?
lol...i cant remember 5 years ago let alone 23


Your prom night?
terrible


Last thing you said aloud?
i dont have it, sorry

Worst thing currently on television?
i dont know

What was in the mail today?
nothing...its a holiday

How many different beverages have you dranktoday?
just water
What is your favorite part of the day?
depends

Your current To-do list?
find someone to love

Where is your best friend right now?
quanitco, va


What color is your toothbrush?
green?

What is out your back door?
i dont have a back door

Any plans for Saturday night
watch nascar

Least favorite place to shop?
walmart

Last thing you bought?
a dress online...that who knows if i will ever wear


Last gift you received?
i dont really know

What color is your front door?
greyish whitish


First thing you did this morning?
showered

Last thing you ate?
gum

Is your cell phone a piece of crap?:
yes!


What's something you look forward to most inthe next 6 weeks?
the brickyard..football starting

What's annoying you right now?:
the clock which is taking too long. the fact that i never get a response when i ask a question

Is there a person who is on your mind right now?
yes

Where is the last place you went?
work

Who is the last person you called?
my dad
Do you look like your mom or dad?
both

Do you have any siblings?
yes, scott allen king


Do you smile often?
i try

Do you think that someone is thinking aboutyou right now?
i hope someone is
Do you wish on stars?
no

Do you untie your shoes every time you takethem off?
no

Would you kill someone?
no!


Are you a friendly person?
i try...but im told im not

Are you keeping a secret from the world?
no

What is the color of your bedsheets?
the ones now are grey



1:43 PM - 0 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment - Edit - Remove


You...


...hold my heart in your hands, and will never know it. The hold is loose in the style of the unknowing and careless, yet so tight I can feel the small but permanent cracks left behind. I know you like I know the back of my hand, and at the same time I know you not at all. Perhaps one day I may lay a featherlite touch upon your heart in return, but I will never hold it. That is for another, she who is more worthy than I could ever hope to be. Take care, dear one, with this thing of mine which is so precious to me. For even had I the words to ask its return, I would not.



We rode on the winds of the rising storm
We ran to the sounds of the thunder
We danced among the lightning bolts
And tore the world asunder.



1:27 PM - 2 Comments - 2 Kudos - Add Comment - Edit - Remove


happy day

happy fourth people...22 days til the brickyard...but most importantly 30 days til football!

5:48 AM - 0 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment - Edit - Remove



Thursday, July 03, 2008

sorry just a survey

What's the last thing you put in your mouth?
water

Have you ever kissed anyone named Matthew?
not yet, but i hope to. There are two matthews i'd like to kiss
Where was your default picture taken?
at home
Last person you rode in a car with under the age of 20?
lindsays kid
Can you play guitar hero?
im sure i COULD but i dont
Last time you walked further than a block?
i walk around all day at work
Name someone that made you laugh today?
brian
When was the last time you saw number 1 on your top friends?
april 20th



How late did you stay up last night and why?
10:30- recovering from absolute exhaustion
If you could move somewhere else, would you?
bimini

Ever been kissed under fireworks?
not yet

Which of your friends lives closest to you?
amy

Do you prefer to call or text?
text

How do you feel about Diet Dr Pepper?
yuck!
When was the last time you cried really hard?
january 21st. but i cried just a little out of sentamentality on monday night/tuesday morning

Where are you at right now?
at work

What bed did you sleep in last night?
mine

What was the last thing someone bought for you?
i dont remember

When is your birthday?
november 3rd
Who took your profile picture?
hannah

Who was the last person you took a picture of?
mister

Was yesterday better than today?
yes!

Can you live a day without TV?
absolutely

Are you mad about anything?
Nope

Do you think relationships are ever really worth it?
yep

Are you a bad influence?
apparently
Night out or night in?
i prefer night in. i like hanging out with my friends in my own environment

Are you more of a quiet individual or an outgoing person?
i play an outgoing person on TV and i have no inside voice

What items could you not go without during the day?
my phone, water

Would you share a drink with a stranger?
if the stranger knew someone i knew

Who was the last person you visited in the hospital?
my grandmother...unless you count when i took kim to the emergency room

Last hug?
greg

Do you think its right for straight guys to get their tongue pierced?
who am I to judge?

Are you more of a coffee or alcohol drinker?
alcohol!!
Have you ever thrown shoes on a telephone wire?
nope

What does the last text message in your inbox say?
I think so

How do you feel about your life right now?
eh...its pretty good

How many times have you been pulled over by the police?
few

Do you hate anyone?
nope

Did you have a Valentine?
no
Anyone upset you lately?
dumb high maintenance customers

Last person you talked to on the phone?
my mom
Can you easily tell if someone is fake?
usually
How's your heart?
confused

Say you were given a drug test right now, would you pass?
maybe

9:25 AM - 0 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment - Edit - Remove
comments: Leave a comment Share

[icon] do not defy me
View:Recent Entries.
View:Archive.
View:Friends.
View:Profile.
You're looking at the latest 10 entries, after skipping 10 newer ones.
Missed some entries? Then simply jump back 10 entries or forward 10 entries